Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
Hardest thing in life: Trying to look happy when no money falls out of your birthday card.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. But add me on Facebook and I`ll stalk you (maybe)
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
Pool is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.