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Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
when i have children im going to make them watch 2012 and tell them i survived all of that.
A slug is just a divorced snail.
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
You can`t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you have a crush on someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
We Should Have A Way Of Telling People Their Breath Stinks Without Hurting Their Feelings. Like: "I`m bored, let`s go brush our teeth"
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
If horror movies have taught me anything, it`s lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
For our next trick, we should hack into North Korea`s TV system and put Jersey Shore on repeat...