Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You just don`t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
Just printed out 50 copies of today’s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I’m just not in the mood for small talk.
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn`t pull her weight financially and she`s scared of the vacuum.
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
“Should I add more liquor?” is the most ridiculous question I’ve ever been asked.
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny sh!t.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.