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Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead...
Some people say having a child is the best experience in the world. These people obviously never had 2 thing fall from a vending machine at once.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
Just burned 3 calories typing this with my thumb muscles. #fitness
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.