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Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
In my porno they`d deliver the pizza after they had sex because otherwise it`d just get cold.
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
Farted in my wallet, Now I have gas money.
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"
Today I heard a guy on the street say, `It`s chowder season, baby!` so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words