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My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
Sleeping is so difficult when you have a world awake in your phone.
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
I`m not the cat lady type. I`m more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!
Learning to "stop drop and roll" in elementary school lead me to believe catching on fire would be a much more frequent problem in life.
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?