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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
Why isn`t a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn’t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.
Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...