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The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
Really close to my perfect target weight. All I need now is one more stomach flu
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
Do homeless people get Knock Knock Jokes?
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.