Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It`s fun".
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.