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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
Do you ever just get a random burst of motivation to clean your house, write a novel, paint a masterpiece or read a book ... Yeah, me neither.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
I fell asleep with infomercials playing on the TV.... I woke up with a strange desire to do P90X with a Shake Weight while in my Snuggie
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.
I`m terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.