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How easily you’re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
My home security system is a series of paintings with the eyes cut out.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
I don`t understand fat homeless people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
My wife told me I suffer from a lack of imagination. I said, "Yeah? Well you suffer from a lack of imagination." That showed her.
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !