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I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
Put that down you fat piece of sh!t` - the title of the dieting book I`m writing.
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money.
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF