Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
i feel naked without my mobile !
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
You’re not important enough to have haters. You just have a few people who notice you’re an a$$hole.
I`m not saying I`m out of shape but I just stretched, got winded, and need to lie down
Dear Autocorrect, She`s an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I`m never getting laid.
So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don`t give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.
Give a man a fish & he`ll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That`s weird" Teach a man to fish & he`ll be all "Again with the fish?"
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.