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Stop bitchin about the frigid winter snow. There are kids in Africa who don`t even HAVE weather!
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you`re on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
If I owned a copy shop, Iād only hire identical twins to work there.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
I`d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don`t wanna see you everyday.
A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who`s stressing you out.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.