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So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
I`m watching a show about surviving in the wild in case I ever decide to log off and go outside.
People: What a bunch of bastards!
Send a man to the store to get 5 items, he will come home with 4. Send a woman to the store to get 5 items she will come home with 54. Its science.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
Please don`t make me choose between you and porn.
Say goodbye to your girlfriends cause I just bought a book on magic tricks
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.
Since joining Facebook, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face.