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Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
Why do guys go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. There`s like 10 women to each man and they`re already there looking for things they don`t need.
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
My love is like a candle, If you forget about me, I`ll burn your frikin house down!
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
I am upping my standards.. so up yours!
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
I have tonight off so if anyone’s free let’s go somewhere and look at our phones together.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.