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Teenage girls hang out in odd numbered groups because they literally can`t even.
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
GF: "You`re cute when you`re drunk" Me: "You`re cute when I`m drunk too"
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
"Why?" - Socrates and four year-olds
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”