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My boss said we needed to find ways to save time and be more productive, so I just moved the coffee maker to my desk
What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn`t tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.