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Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.
Lol at birds that walk places.
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.