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Most problems can be solved with nudity
I wish someone would steal my identity, fix it and and give it back...
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
I think sex is probably the best stress reliever, but I haven’t beaten anyone with a baseball bat before, so I can’t be 100% sure.
The best way to grill a chicken is to whack it with a rubber hose before you ask why it crossed the road..
I pretend I don`t care but deep down I really still don`t care.
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
Can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back & not say a word to my parents so they think I lived a cool double life.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
Apparently, the average person looks at their phone 150 times a day. Not me. I look at it just once. For about 12 hours.