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Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
Spank me once, shame on you. Spank me twice, now we`re getting somewhere.