Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
Broke up with my girlfriend. She was into the horoscope stuff and we weren`t compatible. I`m a libra and shes a...b!tch
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
Hangovers are nature`s way of grounding you as an adult.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
PARENTS: your teen may be worshipping Satan. Look for these terms: LOL - Lucifer Our Lord, BRB - Burn Religious Books, TBH - Tell Beelzebub Hi
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
Dear human, you get mad when i wake you up and also get mad when i dont. Sincerely confused, Alarm Clock.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"