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Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
Only in math problems you can buy 60 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
Checked my bank balance at the ATM and was happy to see I had 707 dollars in it until I realized I was holding the receipt upside down and it said LOL instead.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
It`s my birthday. I’m not just a year older, I’m also a year better and prettier ... I know your jealous ;)
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I`ll read 4 or 5 status updates and I`ll cry, because I relieze how dysfunctional some of my friends life`s are. but then I`ll smile when I remember things like the leftover pizza from last night sitting on the coffee table!
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
If you`re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don`t google `old man bond age`
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.