Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
I was sitting in traffic the other day. That’s probably why I got run over.
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome
I love this oscillating fan, 5 out of every 15 seconds.
Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
Google image results are like a party that starts off exactly how you expected and gets weirder the longer you stay.
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep