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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts..
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
I have to be careful what I say online because my kids might find out how cool I am and want to start hanging out with me.
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
I wish someone would steal my identity, fix it and and give it back...
You can turn anything into a compliment if you`re delusional enough.
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
My wife said if this gets 100 likes, we`ll try butt stuff........ * Please DON`T like,,, her strap-on is big and scary.....
I`m tired of people assuming I`ve got a good personality because I`m ugly.
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.