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I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
When a girl tells you that she just had her period, you are officially in the friendzone.
Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.
Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
Adding "and sh!t" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.