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Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
Tequila... cuz the bed isn`t goin to spin itself!
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends
I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find `em.
LOSE WEIGHT FAST! Mix equal parts warm water, apple cider vinegar, & lemon juice toss that disgusting sh!t into a sink & get on a treadmill.
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
To my neighbor using a chainsaw at 7:30 on a Sunday morning: Try holding the other end.