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I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
I go on dates just to remind myself that being single is awesome.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
I regret buying that straight jacket now. I thought it would look good on me but I just couldn`t pull it off...
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.