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If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$
I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
I`m not fat, God gave me built in airbags because I`m so precious.
It`s scientifically proven the more you shut up then the less likely I am to punch you in the face.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
I think I`m funny - but looks aren`t everything
Hibernation should be a human thing too.
"I`ve had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car."
Are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
I dont have awkward moments I have "special" moments.e.g That "special" moment when my "special" ex learns that karma exist..
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.