Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
Women`s logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.