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Falling in love is lot like dying, you never get to do it enough to become good at it.
I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
Life is fun! You should get one.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, sex with strangers. You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad"
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.
Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.
Have you ever wondered if Dora is smuggling drugs in her backpack?
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.