Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
I`m always tempted to yell "Kevin!" mid-flight.
The fact that Burger King can sell you 10 chicken nuggets for $1.49 should concern you more than it should entice you.
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
Last night I went out drinking with some high school friends. About 2 hours into it they were like..."dude, shouldn`t you be hanging out with people your own age?"
It`s Friday the 13th. Good thing I`m not superstitious, it`s unlucky to be superstitious...
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
Can I apologize in advance for basically everything I will ever do???