Daily Silly Status

Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend

I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.

I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.

The best part about living in a small town is when I don`t know what I`m doing, someone else does.

Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.

I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.

If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.

If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.

Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.

The Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I`m thinking taco cart...

life is short play naked

This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is `funny and spontaneous`, yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it`s all pantic and screaming.

Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.

I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.

My family tree is a cactus, we`re all pricks.