Daily Silly Status

When I die and I`m standing at the gates, I hope they give me the carpenter`s cup challenge from Indiana Jones. I`m totally ready for that one.

It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.

Money can`t buy you happiness, but it does give you the ability to rent it until you die.

This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.

doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)

My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.

Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.

My sleep number is 100 proof.

My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.

"The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something

I wish I was a jedi, but mostly just so I didn`t have to bend over to pick up dog poop.

Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*

I`ve decided that from now on I`m going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. It`s kind of fun... "Dean, what are you doing this weekend?" "That`s a great question -- and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back, and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend, I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should." "But what are you doing?" "What I`m g

Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!

Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them