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If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
Its amazing how many people respond to "Hey Dumba$$!"
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.