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You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
I`ve disappointed a lot of people in my life, you`re not special.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I`m like HOLY CRAP I`M OUTSIDE.
I will have you know I have FRIENDS! All 10 seasons.
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
Coffee gives me the illusion I`m actually awake
First thing I do when I realize I’m lost…turn the radio down.
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.