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The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it`s between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn`t going according to plan.
"10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You`re Going Straight to Hell" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
And now it`s too hot outside to take down the Christmas lights
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
I really respect people that don`t drink excessively, gamble, curse, do drugs, spend excessively, act irresponsibly and stay up late. And by "respect" I mean "don`t wanna hang out with"
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
It`s all fun and games...unless there`s cookies, then it`s serious
In theory, sex should be grosser than letting someone borrow your toothbrush, but it`s not.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" I`d like to smack them and say "yeah, I guess you`re right"
If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
Life`s short ... Drink fast