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Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.
Boys are like roses, watch out for the pr!cks...
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber were both answers on Jeopardy tonight. The end is near........
Dear Maytag: Why don`t your dryers have a Fold cycle? It`s 2018 for chrissake!
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let`s go off script. What are you wearing?"
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.