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I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
I smoked weed once and realized spoons are just little bowls on sticks
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note “Don’t eat me”.Now there’s an empty plate and a note “Don’t tell me what to do”
"But why?" - Me at weddings
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
Gift cards are still the best way to say "I`m too lazy to think of a good gift and I think you`ll buy drugs if I give you cash."
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
Doing some laundry and hot single socks in my dryer are looking for a mate.
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
Check this one out.........1
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.