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I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can`t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
Watching game shows is like watching porn, you get excited watching someone else get lucky
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
The only human interaction I want for the rest of the day is the exchange of money between me and the liquor store cashier
Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick.
Sorry I said "What is it?" when you showed me your baby.
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?