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I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.
If I could move things by telekinesis I`d squeeze people`s insides and make them fart.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
All my bills say "outstanding", I guess that means I`m good to go!
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
If I don’t talk to myself, who will?
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me all like, “Whoa! That was close!”
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
If you`re feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
I own a shop selling `CLOSED` signs. We haven`t had a single customer today.