Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don`t get her a bathroom scale. Just sayin"
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.
Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf´s a minute
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
I was at the hospital earlier today and saw a cute girl with a cast on her leg. Naturally, my first thought was "Hey, this one can`t run away..."