Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
I hope these bad jokes distract you from the fact you`re getting screwed. - Car insurance commercials
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
"I just launched a new fragrance!" - a great way to announce a fart
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
Wouldn`t it be ironical to die in a living room?
Now that I`m turning 40, I need to be careful about what I eat and drink and make sure I am getting my nutrients. That is why I just added pulp-free Orange Juice to my Vodka.
My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.
So many people are making history right now. but me, I`m deleting history from my browser.
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
I want the job of placing pepperoni slices on frozen pizzas, because clearly whoever has it is now has problems.
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.