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Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
See, this is why I never like too wake up, it means doing things.
Why can`t I get service in my own home, but the god damn Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan!?
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
Sorry, when I said I have the stamina of an NBA player in bed I meant I take 10 timeouts in the final 2 minutes.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.