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To be honest, I panic a bit right before I have to pronounce Worcestershire sauce.
My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
The only problem with sarcasm is, it only works on intelligent people.
PRO TIP: If you see a woman crying, never ask if its because of her hair.
What do women say when they are actually fine?
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
I own a shop selling `CLOSED` signs. We haven`t had a single customer today.
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That`s like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.
The Spanish version of the Subway jingle “65.63 Peso 0.3 meter largo” isn’t quite as catchy…