Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?
Omg!! got 6 numbers on the Lotto.. and the stupid machine didn´t pick any of them
I enjoy shopping online because at least I don`t have to act all shocked when my credit card gets declined.
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
Drink till she´s cute, but stop before the wedding
Always finish your beer. There`s sober kids in Africa.
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
If you really want to know how she feels about you, get her drunk & then piss her off.
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.