Daily Silly Status

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

You notice how no faith-healers have stepped forward to help out with the ebola crisis in Africa......

If I treated others how I wanted to be treated, I`d be doing a ton of spontaneous sexual favors for random strangers.

HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T

There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.

Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.

I dont think McDonald`s french fries are real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect ... Tasted fine, too.

Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.

Every load of laundry that I wash, dry, fold, and put away makes nudists seem less crazy.

My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.

In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.

gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that`s a D you moron !

Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”

A world without Facebook would be much more productive.