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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
The first order of business for the 115th Congress: blaming everything on the 114th Congress.
Sports commentators need to stop saying penetrate
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
I never used to mind my wife hitting me in the face as she climaxed until I found out she was faking it.
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.