Daily Silly Status

Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.

I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo

I only change the kitty litter like once every two weeks but in my defense I don`t have a cat

Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.

I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.

I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.

Asking a girl what exactly she looks for in a guy is like asking her "what exactly do I have to do to get friendzoned?

You`re an intellectual who doesn`t read books? I completely understand because I`m an athlete that rarely moves.

I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.

I love talking about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Life is fun! You should get one.

If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.

I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.

Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...