Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car.
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
Just because you`re not paranoid doesn`t mean they`re not out to get you.
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".
I like working from home. It`s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.