Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
New camo condoms! She`ll never see you coming again.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel.
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
Tieam... problem solved
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!