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I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
If my body was a car, I`d trade it in for a newer model. Cause everytime I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
If I`ve learned anything about picking up woman at the super market it`s to stay away from those in the tampon isle.
One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn`t that hungry.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Can I apologize in advance for basically everything I will ever do???
These statuses are a lot better if you imagine them being read by Morgan Freeman.