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I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
Don’t jump to confusions.
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Magician: Now I will cut the woman in half. Me: Why turn one problem into two?
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
Did you know dryer sheets double as toilet paper and leave your a$$ smelling like meadows and rain drops?
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe