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Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
I’m an only child, and I’m still not the favorite.
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
Marriage. Because otherwise hating someone for turning the page of a newspaper too loudly would seem absurd
I Don’t answer text messages right when I get them so I don’t seem desperate. Then, I forget about them and never respond.
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
I wouldn`t consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else.
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.