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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
word of the day: nincomtard
It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
Have you ever held your money and thought "I hope this hasn´t been up a stripper´s butt"
I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said "a tent of lovers." I wasn`t really listening.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
What did I get for Christmas? Fat...
If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.