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Stairs are like rock climbing after a bottle of vodka.
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance! ..By driving away and not leaving a note.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I`m slowly getting over it.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.