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Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don`t f*cking deserve string cheese.
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
A golden rule to live by: Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics!
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
You know you`re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
If it wasn`t for claustrophobia, lack of intelligence, and my intense fear of floating poop, I would`ve made a great astronaut.
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.