Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best” literally translates to “I’m a loud, sloppy drunk.”
Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
happy 3rd birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
If I owned a copy shop, I’d only hire identical twins to work there.
Don`t blame me, I was born awesome ;)
When I`m bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus.
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.