Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don`t want to do.
My tricks aren`t for kids.
I`ve been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
Got tasered at speed dating again.
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by βgamesβ youβre referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
New philosophy on life: Do unto others, then run like hell.