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Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the f*ck is my remote?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch dumbass."
Never take advice from me, you`ll only end up drunk......
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Your parents taught you to wash your hands after you pee. My parents taught me not to pee on my hands in the first place.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face…
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.