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I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to "single" and wait 5 minutes.
My girlfriend says I shouldn`t plan things so far in advance. Well, she`s not my girlfriend yet.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
I`m not lazy... I`m in energy saving mode.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.
If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.