Daily Silly Status

I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.

I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.

There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.

A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.

just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream

One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.

I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.

Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...

I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.

Putting a light in the refrigerator is God`s way of telling us that it`s okay to eat before going to bed.

Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.

This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.

Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?

I never let anyone see me eat junk food. Not because I`m afraid they will judge me. I just don`t want to share.