Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks: Why don’t you eat all the food?
“I’ll be speaking with my lawyer” is the adult version of saying “I`m telling mom”
I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
When a cashier asks if you have a rewards card, look down, sigh, and say, "My wife took everything when she left"
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
If you`re married and having trouble, ask "what would Jesus do?" then remember that jesus was never married.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
I used to think I was a man of vision. Now i`m pretty sure they`re hallucinations.
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.