Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
I tend to say “I dont know” when I’m too lazy to think.
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in. Those inside are desperate to get out
Every Instagram caption should just be, "ARE YOU JEALOUS OF MY LIFE YET??"
There`s something I need to get off my chest: Darned Cheetos crumbs.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
Nothing says “friend zone” quite like a woman saying “you’re like a brother to me.” Unless you’re from Alabama.
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.