Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
A "long story" is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
"Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll probably be like, “Hey, remember when you used to just give me fish?”
I feel like grabbing some random kid and screaming "I`m YOU from the future!"
Teacher:If I had 2 oranges in my left hand and 2 mangoes in my right hand, what would I have?? Student:Big hands!!
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...
No matter what I get, it’s impossible not to sound like a douche when saying my order at Starbucks.