Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They say money can`t buy you happiness, but I`ve got a receipt from the liquor store telling a whole different story.
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
The wet spot in my bed is tears
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
I got a job at Bath and Body Works just so I can tell people to smell my finger...
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
People born in 1994-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums. & they are not even 18 yet.
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.