Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wear a cape when I`m driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I`m going somewhere to fight crime.
I`ve eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
I`d try Taco Bell`s breakfast but I don`t start drinking that early.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
It`s going to be so disappointing if we ever ask aliens about crop circles and they`re just like, "We really hate corn."
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
One day id like to have a brand new Iphone like the lady in front of me with the food stamps.
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered is god playing angry birds hmm
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.