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My car is so old the high beam switch is on the floor...
Give Me A Minute While I Pretend To Care!
I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
I’m mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
Helpful Tip: Dont laugh when the cop says penal system ... oh and I need bail money again.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.