Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When you`re trying to change the channel on the tv, and the remote starts ringing, you`re probably drunk.
Jesus is coming.... look busy
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow
I`ve polished the mirror in the bathroom so much, you can see your face in it.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
One small step for man one giant step for a really small man
The last time I went to a nude beach I got a ticket. The officer said I was applying my sunscreen...Too Fast.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.
Weekends will from now on begin on Wednesday because that is when it should truly begin!
Cactuses are just heavily armed cucumbers.