Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A woman saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing.”
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don´t know when.
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.
Why is it that flies can get in your car so easy, but can`t figure out how to escape with all the windows down.
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
Thinking about staying in tonight? Nobody looks back in life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.
I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant," will come back on "32 and a Grandma."