Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
I`ve had like 10 red bulls, so of course I`m vacuuming the front yard.
Sit-ups are my favorite form of exercise because I get to lay down every few seconds.
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
Not remembering where I set my drink down must be the same feeling parents have when they lose their four year old at the mall.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
I`m out of bacon. This is my suicide note.
You`re the reason why I believe in condoms.
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
I just changed my relationship status from “left hand” to “right hand”…
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.