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Once in a while you meet a person that makes you smile when you think about them. They`re trouble. Stay away from them.
The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, but so was yesterday, and look how that turned out...
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
Good for you, people that do things.
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up.